Dear Menkind*,
We all know that you check out women when in public places. Irrespective or whether you are single or in a relationship or married, irrespective of who is with you, irrespective of time, place and context. We know that you check us out, give ratings in your mind and pass comments if you find us interesting. Especially when you are with your friends. I agree that women check out men too but more in a non-crass manner and most times our comments stop at “Ooh! That guy is hot”. So here are some tips for you to do what you do more effectively and in a civil manner. What? You thought this is a guy-bashing post? Your mistake! We know that “it’s in your genes” and that you wouldn’t make any attempt to civilize yourself (Who needs civilization when one gets pleasure by simply looking at ogling at the opposite sex? 😐 ) and no amount of advice can bring about any change in you. Our best hope is that you guys will get bored of looking at women, but that seems like a far cry for now. So if you are gonna do something wrong, do it right. 😎
1. When a bunch of you are out roaming and one of you sees a woman worthy of your interest behind you, you tell your friends and they all turn their heads around one by one, as if in some circus parade and look at her. You guys do that sequential head turning so that the woman doesn’t notice the blaring fact that she is the current subject of your discussion. How dumb do you think we are? 🙄 Your circus parade head turning and the fake looks on your faces are more than enough for us to know. So you might as well turn around together or wait till she comes into your line of vision.
2. Please DO NOT giggle. I have seen men giggling (and sometimes blushing) like a teen girl the moment her crush looked at her. And it makes my hair stand up and NOT in a good way. How can a woman enjoy the rest of her shopping when she knows that she was checked out by a MAN ( ❓ ) WHO GIGGLES? 😮
3. Teasing each other and praising each other in loud voices don’t work. We all know that whatever you are talking is for our benefit and are not believing one word of what you are uttering. We are not even listening to you. If you look closely, you will see us being interested in the price of a cabbage or trying to figure out which shade of purple will match our cream top. So do not waste your energy.
4. Try to be as inconspicuous as you can. Let’s face facts, this is obviously a time pass for you. So, at least give us the peace of mind while we are shopping without having to worry about the creep who keeps staring at us but then we we look up stares at a wall intently or picks a product and tries to see its price (without even noticing it is a feminine product).
Image Source: cavemag.com
I was at the supermarket the other weekend and there were these 3 guys, in front of me on the escalator. One of them looked back and told the others something and the head turning happened. And then the giggling happened. And then the teasing and praising happened alternatively and then the creepy staring happened. All of them one after the other. First I thought something was weird with me and checked my reflection in the window thinking I am missing an earring or inadvertently wearing my dress inside out or something like that. But no, I was okay! I was like “Oh my God! Here I thought guys have become cool these days” Guess that cannot be said for all guys. I was so pissed off that I took my mangalsutra out and brushed my hair so that the sindoor on the forehead is visible. That shut them up 😀 (To all the married ladies – Sure shot way of shooing away such guys, show them that you are married)
Until later 🙂
P.S: I am discovering a lot of new blogs and bloggers who are like-minded. The reader in me is happy 🙂
*P.S: Give me the benefit of generalization with this post. I have written a post about people who do what I have written about and not about those who do not. If you are ignoring my warning and taking offense, well then, that says a lot about you!
Hey Keirthana .. such a cool post ..And so true – “….. if you are gonna do something wrong, do it right. ”
I absolutely loved the parting shots to your readers… I might shamelessly copy it (Of-course with linking it back )
And Boy ! what a beeeaaa….utiful font you have here …Awesome man. I have never cared about my Ps and Qs and to cut my Ts and to dot my Isss so much .. I am writing each sentence with proper capital letter as it is looking FABULOUS in this font !! WOW !!
Now, I am worried my comments will be going to lengthier than your posts 😛
Loved the post , the blog , the design , the font ….
I am glad you helped me find you 🙂
Thanks a lot for your kind words Kokila!
I love the font too so much that when I found this theme, I just couldn’t take my eyes off it. No worries about lengthy comments, we are all here to write and comment 😀 It was so much fun meeting you at the blogger meet and I still cannot believe that you thought I was a college going student 😛
Thanks again and Welcome here 🙂
But but but 🙁
What about the unmarried ones? 🙁
🙁 Unmarried ones can try staring back sternly, that shoos away some but not every guy who does this.
Okay, I will be honest with you. Yes, guys do that, every second of the time. If it is how the male gene pool works, perhaps it is true. And frankly speaking, I hate that too – the staring, the comments, the turning heads, the giggling(I wasn’t aware of this one), everything that makes the girls / ladies / women feel disgusted about the guys in question. This generalization has affected the other kind of guys who don’t do that. No, I am not saying that I don’t look at girls. I do, but the purpose is in admiration and in appreciation of their beauty or simplicity or perhaps their boldness. But “that generalization” has left me with only one choice – “Do not look” and I have stopped that also. Why, because I don’t want to be the guy who falls into that aforementioned category. I want to change that. But can I alone do that? But do help me out, is there a chance for improvement for the “guys” out there, from a woman’s perspective? From my POV, I don’t see any chance of improvement or even a slightest change.
See, we accept that’s how guys’ minds work. So most of us have come to peace with that fact. All we are asking is not to creep us out by doing all of that I said. I have seen guys who check out girls without being noticed. Many of my friends in college have done it, I have seen my husband do it when he is pulling my leg. I even help him sometimes to show that I’m cool 😛
So, the generalization is because I cannot keep putting up disclaimers and I don’t want to. This post is simply for the people who do such things and not for those who don’t. And for those who do look at women but in a decent way, we are not saying anything about you.
As for the “guys” out there, as long as they don’t creep us out with their objectifying women, we are not even bothered.
Exactly my points except for giggling. Yikes! I never came across giggling men, thank God! But once it so happened that my friend and I were taking a walk. A guy was standing on the street. The moment he saw us, he began to make robotic sounds. Frankly, we felt pity for him.
The staring part, all turning their heads at once, all that is too unsettling. I check out men and I believe God has created beautiful things for us to enjoy. And so, I wouldn’t blame them for checking out women. In fact, I like guys who try to be inconspicuous. I take it as a sign of respect if they try to get a glimpse at women without irritating or freaking us out. But the oggling sucks!
Lovely post by the way. 🙂
Lucky you! The giggling was the most upsetting part of it for me. Robot sounds? Guess they are thinking “out of the box” or at least assume that they do 😛
True, checking out the opposite sex is not wrong as long as it does not creep the one being checked out. I accept that I check out men and my hubby checks out women. We sometimes support each other by helping each other out 😛 But the class with which one does this is what matters. Most times, we are met with crass behavior than class behaviors.
Thank you Ranjini! Welcome to my space 🙂
Loved reading your tips, Keirthana. When I was in school like around 9th, 10th, I never knew the art of checking out guys. But my friends were really better at it. They taught me how to do it without actually letting others know. You will think that men will get better at it with years of practice, but truth is they can’t do that better than even a 15 year old girl with lifetime of practice. 🙂
Thanks Vinitha! I used to be the gang leader for that when I was in school 😛 And totally agree with you, some men cannot be cool about this thing even if it costs their dignity.
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Very well said, Keirthana! Why to civilize when you can just not civilize? Pfpth, haha!
I can truly understand how bothering it would be especially when the girl being victimized in public. Sorry to hear about your bitter experiences. All I would say is “the change should come within”. Appreciate your efforts in creating an awareness! Good luck and God bless.
Cheers..
This is awesome stuff, Keirthana. Wonder how I missed reading it. I mean awesome in the sense that I’m glad that someone took the effort to pen the post. Even as a man, i concur. A lot of the men, especially in India, they’re creeps. They can make a woman in a Burkha feel uncomfortable. Let’s hope we get to a point someday where women and men can ‘un-creep-ily’ check out each other and not feel violated.
Thanks Sid! Yes, I do hope we can appreciate what we see without being absurd or obscene about it.